West Train

Have you ever been underneath a mountain?
I don’t think you have, experiences like that leave a trace on people’s skin
and yours is never not glowing softly.
My forehead gets colder by the minute, resting on the window shield
and even through my earphones I feel the rusty road underneath
What’s it like living life without me?
She seems different. The kind of difference that makes one feel out of the woods, but no amount of smiles from her helps whatsoever
Because how unfair of me it would be, to compare my longing to her belonging
The darkness of a tunnel brings me back to the seat, and I feel your elbow against mine.
Your eyes so focused on your phone choosing the next video in line.
I have envied you a lot for that gift you have, of being so sure of everything around you it makes you able to focus on what’s on your hand.
What’s it living life like that?
Daylight flashes inside the place again, revealing mountains near and far
have you ever been on a mountain?
I’m sure you have, your eyes light up when you don’t smile.
Oh but how metaphorical this ride has become
my head itches
have you ever scratched your brain’s glitches?
Your hand determined but smoothly takes my hand and your eyes close.
God, you’re so sure.
I can feel my chest collapsing on itself, and my feet begin to disappear
I have always known the answer, but I’m not the same as you.
I find the truth behind every rock and every sky but you find the lie out of jokes and dice
We see the rain in different colors and your tongue is longer than mine.
God I’m so sure
and I hate being right almost as much as I hate being wrong.
My hand fits in your hand but it stings, your gaze locks on mine but it doesn’t dry my tears, your voice stays in my head and I shut it out with thoughts.
I have never been yours.
And so the train we ride on will take us somewhere beautiful, once again
but my ticket is one way economy and yours is front window seat
I’ll search for the view while you fall back asleep, but I’m so glad this watch we bought is ours to keep.
Hope I forget my luggage and hope you find your keys
Letting us go burns every time but I gift you back every good thing and this bright spot of bliss.