Wreck

Ah you should’ve seen me. Hopeful, dreamy, fearless, happy.

Before everything happened I wasn’t this crappy. I mean…

I’ve always been fighting and I’ve always been manic

but I guess going through that made me stuck in a panic.

Now it feels like I’m drowning and it feels like I’m lying

cause I’m telling myself there are some silver linings.

But my brain won’t believe me and it’s obvious I’m dying

when I beg my own eyes to stay open and shining.

Ah, you should’ve met me.

Back when I didn’t miss me.

Back when I knew my hands would never deceive me.

Ah you should believe me! I wasn’t this wreckage! I wasn’t this angry!

And I’m sure that this girl is here hiding and faintly

she hugs me to sleep while I cry like a baby

cause none of this matters if I keep on leaving

the one single being who’s been there every weaving

of strings that I’ve tangled and fixed in each sitting

and she’s there to remind me I must keep on breathing

because she’s also grieving.

Ah you should’ve seen her.

But I still hear her whisper.

So I know that you care and I know I am scared

to tear this apart even though when I’m bare

all the heat and the cold

all the lies that consoled

will leave to make way to someone who will stay.

I would build me apart just to meet her again.